Like a Double-Edged Sword

The Truth Struck Me Like a Double-Edged Sword Still I Yearn for More

When I hear or read the word "Christian" there's one experience from my childhood that brings a light at the back of my mind. Our teacher in catechism asked us the meaning of the word "CHRISTIAN". After we had given our answers, she erased the letters C-H-R-I-S-T leaving the letters I-A-N on the chalkboard.

Then she asked us, "Now that I have taken C-H-R-I-S-T, what was left?"

We answered in chorus, "I-A-N!"

"Do you know what this means?", our teacher asked.


We fell silent. Everyone was attentively and thoughtfully analyzing the remaining letters.

Hearing no response from us, she then wrote something ...
 I - I
A - Am
N - Nothing

And we read it aloud, "I Am Nothing!"

The teacher continued, "Without CHRIST, I Am Nothing. That's the meaning of the word CHRISTIAN. Without Christ in my life, I Am Nothing. Without Christ in your life, you are nothing."

Young as I was then, I did not realize the depth of its meaning. I grew up learning the life of Christ, lived a Christian life for a while but was gradually beaten by the ways of the world and lost hope. My world has changed ... a lot!

     I was not able to focus on my studies;
     I made wrong decisions that left permanent scars;
     I was tempted to commit suicide and leave this world;
     I lost my two-year old son in an accident;
     I nearly ended up my marriage;
     I lay awake late at night unable to sleep, burdened down with worries and concerns,
             my mind wracked with despair and confusion, my heart throbbed with pain;
     My goals and resolutions fall by the wayside;
            and all I see were the dark times in my life

I was in my most vulnerable state and it was so tempting to just dwell on the pain, anger, hatred, bitterness, and frustrations and be easily swallowed by darkness. But
God did not allow that to happen.

During that moment of pain and suffering, the time when I found no hope, God showed His love to me. He reached out for me to let me know that regardless of the countless times
     I have neglected Him,
     I have I disobeyed Him,
     I have failed Him,
     I have sinned ...

GOD LOVES ME and He wants me to live with Him in His Holy Kingdom and enjoy life for eternity.

Yes, God loves me so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to carry my cross and pay the penalties of my sins. God had provided me the hope for life through the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ and all I just need to do is BELIEVE and lay down my life to Him as Jesus laid down His life for me.

I have opened up my heart and received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior long ago but it was not until our Encounter God Retreat that I recognized and understood the magnitude of His sacrifice. The truth struck me like a double-edged sword, hurting yet comforting, but I yearn for more. I desire strongly to know Christ in a much deeper way through reading His Word, the Bible.

God has guided me through the daily challenges of life. He has enabled me to trust in Him, to forgive, to let go of the past, to move on, and live in peace. I have experienced the awesome power of prayer and witnessed God's amazing love in so many ways.

I am in a process of growth, constantly molded to become like Christ and reflect Christ in my life. I know it takes time to grow and the way ahead will not be easy. But God will be with me and will help me accomplish His will in my life. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

GOD LOVES YOU! And He wants you to experience the same peace that only comes from truly following Jesus Christ.

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